I’m feeling a little nauseous. I just spent the last two hours replying to the back-load of OkCupid emails that I have received over the last several days. There have been some oddballs in there. One guy I just flat out said I didn’t think we had very much in common, but I thought he was sweet, thanked him for contacting me, and wished him luck in his search. Others were just okay, so I just politely replied briefly, not expecting to be blown over by their response…particularly when their efforts to reach me simply were “Hi” or “I love your hair.” Seriously.
But fortunately, there were a few guys who intrigued me enough to put effort in my email response to them. Their profiles usually were a blend of intelligence and humor, often self-deprecating. And one email stood out above the rest, making my heart smile a little.
OKC, told me that you wouldn’t read this message. It said “Hey buddy you only match SingleInMy30′s at 69% and she requires at least an 80% match as computed by our OKC match-o-bot to fain interest in in you.” So I said “Bot, be dammed! This woman’s profile has piqued my interest and I will at least attempt one communique before I yield to the likes of an algorithm who’s actual standard deviation is probably suspect at best.” To which the bot replied, “Well then Mister Sassy Pants, go right ahead and send her a message…”
Hello SingleInMy30′s my name is Aquil. Your picture caught my eye and your profile caught my interest so despite the disclaimer that you would be filtering my message, I thought that I would write you anyway. So why did I decide to write you, I’ll steal some words from Maya Angelou:
The Impeccable Conception
I met a Lady Poet
who took for inspiration
colored birds, and whispered words,
a lover’s hesitation.
A falling leaf could stir her.
A wilting, dying rose
would make her write, both day and night,
the most rewarding prose.
She’d find a hidden meaning
in every pair of pants,
then hurry home to be alone
and write about romance.
Hopefully, you’ll feel inspired to write me despite our reckoned match, and then perhaps my own sweet prose will sneakily be attached!
Dear Aquil, that Maya Angelou poem seemed written especially for me. Way to impress. You better believe he got a lovely reply.
Tonight, Mr. Brit will be taking to his favorite Indian restaurant. I will ignore Mr. Etiquette’s unwarranted jealousy and pleas for me to “not move too fast with anyone”. Until tonight, I must write. You know, like my real job, grown-up writing! Wish me luck staying focused.