My self-worth is not determined by:
• My work (or ability to do it)
• Whether my boss thinks of me as bringer in of “ratings” or as a human being—I know being really sick can’t compare to having a cute baby
• Whether my “boyfriend” thinks I am a high enough priority to spend time with
• Whether I have a boyfriend or not…and I decided four weeks ago, regardless of what he’s thinking, I don’t want his half-assed approach to dating anymore
• The fact that I am once again bed-bound for most of the day, that I have to crawl or have someone help me to the bathroom and walk the halls or risk a fall, and that I need a wheelchair to go out in public.
• The fact that I can’t take a shower (and sometimes brush my teeth) unless someone else is in the room with me
• Still intriguing because of my mind, my sense of humor, my looks, my interests and my intelligence. Men from OKCupid keep telling me so, haha.
• Still sexy and beautiful, despite the extra 6-10 lbs that taking prednisone for too long puts on my body. A sexy ex told me so–even after seeing me puke into a pink bucket. No, just having my parents and doctors tell me I’m beautiful doesn’t resonate in quite the same way.
• Not an old maid just because I am 33, currently living at home, never been married and have no kids
• That my body is still strong, my mind is still sharp and that I still have a bright future and this is all just temporary. I can get through all of this one day at a time
• So blessed to have people who love me, books, music, videos, a weird cat and more to keep me occupied, intrigued and entertained.
• Never finished learning more about this world and about my self.