Last Wednesday in an Ustream broadcast, relationship coach Rori Raye shared some refreshing tips and advice for how you can stand out for right guy among a crowd of women. From offering up the best places to meet men to guiding you away from the wrong ways to attempt a love connection, Raye offered great tips for putting yourself out there this summer to snag the right kind of man and relationship.
Raye first stressed learning how to love yourself and to convey that confidence to others. When we lack a strong sense of self, we have a tendency to listen to the voices that tell us we aren’t pretty enough, smart enough or that we’re doing things all wrong. This, in turn, leads us to protect ourselves out of fear by putting up barriers with men. Raye says that when we allow fear to take control, we shut down our hearts, which cuts us off from the possibility of connection.
Practicing what Raye calls the “strong surrender,” women must be willing to be vulnerable to allow for genuine romantic connection, “no matter how scared we are.” According to Raye, it is up to a woman to open up in order for a man to trust that it is safe for him to open up as well.
To move into a truly loving partnership, Raye cautioned against taking three main routes. She said putting all your faith in pursuing the path of physical connection often leads to what may feel like a relationship to a woman but what really is just a long-term sex buddy. Women have been upping the ante to be more provocative and over-the-top to attract a man, which Raye said has allowed men to take on the role of player.
Raye said that following the mental route to a romantic connection is also the wrong way to tread. “If you try to get to a man through his head, you’ll never get to his heart ever,” she said.
Raye commented on how many people expend so much energy trying to figure out what they have in common with a prospective partner. She feels what is truly relevant is that you share core values with your partner. Focusing too much on building common ground puts you solidly in the friends’ zone.
Raye also advised against searching solely for a spiritual connection. “Trying to connect on a spiritual or religious basis gives us another friend; it doesn’t trigger his romantic interest,” she said.
What then is the best way to connect with a man? Contrary to popular belief, Raye said, the emotional road is the best route to romantic success. “Be in touch with yourself emotionally,” she advised. “When he feels you being open and can trust you, that’s the road into his heart.”
Raye also offered specific advice for women dating in the modern world. She recommends circular dating, where you date several guys at once and see what happens. A refreshing alternative for those who frequently jump into new relationships too quickly, circular dating allows you not to get hung up on any one guy right away. You can take the time to sit back and evaluate each guy to see whether you’re on the same page or not. Ask yourself: “Does his presence feel good? Am I able to love myself totally in his presence? Do we share core values?”
Raye wrapped up the chat with perhaps her wisest nugget of advice: “Don’t try and make things happen—just get out there and live your life so your guy can find you.” Whether it’s through online dating or Meetup, in a grocery store or church, when you are comfortably living your life, expressing yourself and confidently relating to the people you meet, summer lovin’ is sure to find you.
There are specific, effective ways to communicate to a man your interest without chasing him. To learn how to do this so that a man will feel inspired to pursue you, subscribe to Rori’s free e-newsletter. You’ll discover a completely different way of expressing yourself that will get you a man’s full attention and interest.