Late last night, I found the profile of a really attractive guy with whom it appeared I had a lot in common, so I decided to take the initiative and send him an email. In spite of what you read in his reply email, I did not oversell myself at all, and I merely mentioned some of my interests that we seemed to share, based on what I read in his profile. It was fairly brief, but also gave enough for nibbling on if he was interested. This was his reply today:
Hey, [SingleInMy30s], thanks for writing. I would definitely be interested in talking to you and even meeting at you at some point because we have an amazing amount of things in common, but I’m going to be upfront with you. I would want to start out without romantic pressure or expectation.
I’m at a point in my post-breakup-period where I’m done rebounding (been there, done that, even though I didn’t realize it at the time), but I’m not sure what I am ready for. I’ve actually considered taking down my page lately.
Now with that out of the way, why I’d be so interested in talking to you…. Writer? Check. Soccer? Check. Music, songwriting, and singing? Check…. Only it sounds like you’re a lot more talented in at least two out of those three. In my case, you have to insert the hyphenation “aspiring” in front of “writer” and “wannabe” in front of singer-songwriter!
And I’d actually love to talk to you specifically some time about what I can do to get into writing. And I’d also love to come see one of your shows at some point!
I actually thought this was a really upfront and pleasant way of saying, “I’m not ready for a relationship, but I’d like to get to know you since we seem to share many common interests.” Actually, I wish the last guy I dated had said that, but we’ll let bygones be bygones. J is obviously enthusiastic and seems genuinely curious about me–I can’t remember the last time someone seemed that genuinely eager to hear me play my music right off the bat.
One wonders what he is doing on a dating site, but there are admittedly options for friendship and even “fuck buddies” (okay, that’s not exactly how they phrase it, but that’s clearly what they mean). I was clear about seeking a long-term relationship, but my profile does state how the best of relationships begins with a solid friendship. He could just be an enthusiastic guy who wants to butter me up into sleeping with him with “no strings attached.” However, I’d like to give him the benefit of the doubt, considering he came right out and said this is what it is right out the gate. Plus, it never hurts to meet a new friend, especially in my current situation, right? I’ll keep you updated.