Email of the Day: The Poet Who Doesn’t Know I Smell His Bulls**t

I really have no time to write here today, but I had to share these “emails of the day”.

First a winner from okcupid, from which I neglected to remove my profile out of sheer laziness, but I checked out of curiosity last night:

The beauty of your eyes looking into mine,
your skin, your hair all so soft and so fine,
how lucky am I that you Could be all mine.

My reply:

Shall I assume your poetry
Is something you send to all, not just me?
To capture my eye, and potentially my heart,
Shoot me something original to start

He did have the nerve to respond that this poem was written just for me, that he doesn’t share his poetry with just anyone. Um, yeah, right. Wonder how many girls actually buy that. And yes, I just made what his actual response to me sound about 10 times better than how he actually phrased it.

Today’s email of the day was a completely from out of nowhere message on Facebook from “Sunny Papa” whose page identified its gender as female:

Hello
I guess you are fine and living good. I know that this message come to you by surprise anyway, my name is Sunny a handsome young man I find you in when i am browsing in the internet and I’m really interesting to know you and establish a serious relationship with you. I wanna be your friend for first friendship cannot be seen or even be touched, it must be felt within the heart.Hoping you feel just the way i do. Wow! friends are like clothes without them you feel naked!I guess am right.I will tell you more about me, my family and all that maybe necessary in this relationship, If this is okay by you feel free to contact me at email (xxxxx) as to enable us get to know each other better and i will give you my picture please don’t ignore my request thanks. Have a wonderful day with lot of happiness.

best regards
Sunny

Wonder what virus sweet Sunny wanted to send to me, into which bank he/she wanted to tap, or which porn links (s)he wanted to share.

After ridiculously long and harrowing work hours, these things add some very mildly humorous fluff to the day. But I’d much rather one of you guys shared more uplifting stories like the Chilean miners’ rescue…or shared a cute YouTube video or even told me a funny joke. Really, that’s an invitation!

At least I have my soft and sweet kitty keeping me company tonight…

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3 thoughts on “Email of the Day: The Poet Who Doesn’t Know I Smell His Bulls**t

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention Email of the Day: The Poet Who Doesn’t Know I Smell His Bulls**t « SingleInMy30s -- Topsy.com

  2. I soooooooo remember getting emails like this first one. AWFUL!

    At least you can take solace in the face that you are not so naive that you immediately thought, “WOW! He wrote poetry for me! And we haven’t even met!”

    At the same time though, if you are like me, you are already feeling bad about the fact that there is no way to warn the girl that IS that naive.

  3. Wow, I can’t believe you wouldn’t give the guy a chance after that beautiful poetry he wrote JUST FOR YOU! I guess there are some very naive girls out there who fall for just that sort of thing.

    Nothing like the companionship of our furry little animals 🙂

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