Talk To Me: Is He Sweet or Just Another Slick Willy?

Tonight we’re starting something a little new called TALK TO ME, where I set up a scenario from dating, taken from my own experiences or someone else’s that I find intriguing, and YOU tell me what you think in the comments. Let’s have a conversation about it.


A highly educated and very attractive male in a Big City discovers a smart, cute, well-rounded woman in a small town, is intrigued and begins pursuing her. Emails, Google stalking and Facebook friend-ing ensues. After a week, he asks the woman for a date, but she is unable to get together for almost another week due to logistics. Emails between the two have become more friendly and familiar, but they are still in the getting to know you phase. No phone calls have yet been exchanged, possibly due to the man’s odd work hours and potentially because English is not his first language and words are a major part of this woman’s livelihood.

The following email is sent apropos to nothing:

You know what I don’t like about online dating? You can start missing somebody before you even meet…

How can one trust this?

p.s. I am taking a small break at work and decided to share my deep philosophical thoughts. 🙂


So, go from your gut: Is this sweet? Is it creepy given the limited time and depth of the pair’s previous interactions? Is it both?

Or is it just some slick line from another slick willy? There has been no previous smooth talking,  nor previous hints of a player nature, though naturally time reveals one’s true nature.

Or did this man unintentionally leave out a key word to complete a different American phrase with different connotations (which isn’t unusual), i.e. was his real intention to say that he missed hearing from someone whose contact was a bit limited right now?

So I wanna hear from you: What do you think?

Disclaimer: No decisions will be made based on anything shared in Talk To Me. This is just a thought-provoking forum that will hopefully be as entertaining as it might also be enlightening to us all.


3 thoughts on “Talk To Me: Is He Sweet or Just Another Slick Willy?

  1. A few things:

    1) creepy? really? One should reserve that word for scenarios that truly are creepy, just as one should reserve the word crazy for people that truly are. This doesn’t sound even close to creepy.

    2) In some romance languages the grammatical construction of saying you miss someone is completely backwards from English. I’d give the benefit of doubt here.

    3) His attractiveness should have absolutely zero bearing on your evaluation of him as “creepy” or “slick” but it does, doesn’t it? That should tell us something about trusting completely our own instincts (i.e. we shouldn’t).

    4) It’s easy to idealize someone through online dating. We all project our expectations and desires onto the other, which of course only leads to disappointment when they’re not met.

    Anyway, there’s not anywhere near enough information to determine anything about this guy. Is he escalating too fast? Perhaps – boys are encouraged to do that and girls are encouraged to resist. We don’t know if that’s the case here because we don’t have enough of the back story.

    • 1. this behavior was assessed as creepy by someone else
      2. his first language is not a romance language
      3. his attractiveness has no bearing on whether he is creepy or slick. someone else wondered if he was desperate. that was just thrown in to give more information actually, judgy judgy

  2. Unlike Ramesses… I’ll say that this is creepy.

    There’s escalation and then there’s this, which seems like a ploy in my opinion to garner some good favor. He’s just trying to say all the right things so you like him.

    As I guy I think a ploy like this is used when you want to come across as deep and sensitive while also trying to gain the upper hand… I.e. “I have this women eating out of the palm of my hand”

    It’s easy to be funny, sensitive, caring, and smart when you have unlimited time to type a response in email form.

    Just seems really heavy handed… for not having met yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s