Can You Ask to Bring Your Love to a Wedding?

CanYouAskToBringYourLoveToAWeddingSummertime is finally here, and with it comes the annual parade of graduations and weddings. The Warrior Poet and I went to his cousin’s graduation party last weekend, have another cousin’s wedding coming up in September, and one of my cousins living a couple states away is getting married in August. Yet I came up against a wedding etiquette conundrum the other day: When in a committed relationship, can you ask to bring your love to a wedding if the invite is only for you?

WP’s invitations to the wedding and Jack-and-Jill party included a “plus one.” My invitation, which was actually part of my parents’, did not. This absence instigated a humorous battle between my parents that has stretched over several days.

Find out how I decided to handle this sticky situation on Singles Warehouse:


3 thoughts on “Can You Ask to Bring Your Love to a Wedding?

  1. You’re in your 30s & didn’t get your own wedding invitation? Faux pas on the bride/groom — even if you ARE still living with your folks… you’re not a child, adults get a separate invitation. Some couples have the “no ring/no bring” policy when it comes to wedding invites. i say: if you’re in your 30s, he’s been around a while & you’re planning to move in together (just got that from an older post) he should’ve been invited to begin with — so it can’t hurt to ask. The worst they can say is “no”. Good luck!

  2. Simply put, no. You cannot bring a guest if you do not get a +1, and with proper ettiquette, you should not ask to bring a guest in that situation.

    When/if you end up planning your own wedding, you’ll realize how complicated the guest issue becomes (i.e. who to invite, who to actually expect to attend, and how many +1’s to give out)… this goes hand-in-glove with the cost!

    With both of those in mind, you need to accept the fact that the wedding/reception is not your event; it is the to-be-weds’ event, and therefore they are fully in charge of the invite list. To second-guess the to-be-weds’ wishes (by either ignoring it, or by requesting a +1 when you were not given one), you are not only being selfish, you’re also showing a lack of respect for their complex planning issues, and their hard-earned money.

    Simply put: if you are given a +1, invite who you want. If you are NOT given a +1, accept it with respect (for the couple) and grace (for yourself).

  3. I’m currently planning a wedding and I have to say the guest list is the bit that’s causing the most trouble! Partly because you look at people and think “Oh they could be in a relationship by then” or “I don’t think their gonna last”

    Cruel yes – but it’s really hard. I guess if you’ve got a +1 then you are all good. Mind you there might be dropouts and they’d be happy for your partner to come.

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