Can Anyone Find Me A Video Game For Cleaning The House?

Src: hellobeautiful.com

Src: hellobeautiful.com

Yesterday I found myself reliving a scenario common to just about any romantic couple living together. It’s been a few years since I’ve been in this position, so while it didn’t come as a complete surprise, I was still unsettled that it would come so soon after we’d moved in. After discussions he instigated that Sunday afternoon would be our day of doing chores and cleaning the house, I found myself left with the Lysol bottle while he disappeared to the computer.

I tried to fight any negative emotions that bubbled up as I scrubbed the kitchen sink, after washing the dishes. He had told me he’d take care of the kitchen if I took care of the other stuff. Yet as soon as we’d finished the lunch he’d doled out, he leaped from the room, down the long hallway, out of sight and out of reach.

I knew what he was up to. Earlier, after we’d come back from the gym, he’d told up me about this character he wanted to fashion in the last epic video game he promised himself he would play before retiring. While we were eating, he had put up the podcast we enjoy listening to—except while the speakers had my rapt attention, the boyfriend was panning through character descriptions from other video games for various attributes and powers that would fit his ultimate warrior. I asked him a question about the podcast, and he had no idea what I was talking about, so immersed in this other world was he.

With a kitchen full of dirty dishes and counters begging to be wiped down, I set to work. “Why do I get grime-scrubbing duty while he gets to play video games,” I asked myself.

“Because he doesn’t notice the grime,” I answered myself. Or after years of bachelorhood, he’s learned to overlook the grime for much longer than I care to.

Src: Jupiterimages/Brand X Pictures/Getty Images

Src: Jupiterimages/Brand X Pictures/Getty Images

It’s not as if I hadn’t been forewarned. There are some things that my man is very good at, such as moving heavy things, reaching things at heights I can’t reach and he’s great at retrieving things for me when I am in the middle of something. And he takes care of his laundry, does most of the cooking and usually he will do his share of the dishes—though it may take longer for him to get to them than I’d like. He’s repeatedly told me he’s good at taking directions if I request help, though there are some things he won’t/can’t do well.

Yet as I found myself scrubbing down the bathroom and putting his forgotten laundry into the dryer, I couldn’t help having a smidgen of that old feeling of resentment. I know I shouldn’t. Right now, he’s financially responsible for everything, which I hope to fix very, very soon. Yet I remember old relationships where “We need to clean” always turned into me cleaning, cooking, doing laundry, buying groceries, etc.

I’m doing my best to remind myself that this relationship is very different from ones of my past. We have a loving partnership, in which he is very much invested in all ways. I know he will do his best not to take me for granted, as I will do everything I can to show my appreciation for all he does. Most of all, I have to remember that this wonderful man and I can communicate better than I ever believed possible for me in a romantic relationship. If I need help or need to see some signs he is pitching in elsewhere, I don’t have to be afraid to just ask.

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How to Deal With Your Partner’s Ex Who is Still Hanging On

HowToDealWithYourPartnersExWhoIsStillHangingOnFrom the beginning, my boyfriend and I have been very open and honest with one other about our past relationships. He knows about many of the issues that led to the breakups with my biggest exes, and I know his perspective on what some of the biggest factors were that ended his last four-year relationship. He knew that I casually kept in touch with a couple of my exes, considering a couple actual friends, and I found out that occasionally he and his ex had text exchanges. It became apparent that she hadn’t moved on from him, though it’s now been almost two years since they officially broke up. Yet it never really concerned me because she’s never made a presence in my actual life…but that’s about to change. So now I’m left wondering how to deal with your partner’s ex who is still hanging on.

Read more here: http://www.singleswarehouse.co.uk/2013/06/how-to-deal-with-your-partners-ex-who-is-still-hanging-on/

On Singles Warehouse

A Broken Heart Just in Time For A Day of Lovers

Src: love.catchsmile.com

Src: love.catchsmile.com

No matter what obstacles we may have had between us, we always had our strength in communication. We could clear up misunderstandings by tracing where miscommunication had deteriorated the true message, eventually getting to the root of clear intent. A stop in the flow was only a temporary pause, until we could once again get the opportunity to openly express our feelings back and forth directly.

This silence is killing me. You claim it is to digest things, but I don’t know what there is to digest. You behaved in a way I felt was thoughtless. I voiced my discontent. You saw why I was upset and apologized. We also eventually voiced how we stood at different stages regarding the next chapter in our relationship. I had moved onto the next topic of discussion but you were still sending jabs at me as payback from the other topic. I didn’t recognize you then.

There were flickers of recognition when you backtracked and apologized. Yet when I attempted to further make peace, the stranger returned, metaphorically spitting back in my face, still unable to let go. Then I met stony silence.

You know I don’t do well with being shut out. That’s what started this all in the first place. I get that you are independent. I get that sometimes you need your space. Yet you also have to understand that when I am waiting for you, the respectful thing to do is let me now what’s going on and where you are. The loving thing to do is not to ignore me when you return. If you really want to be part of a couple, you don’t digest what’s going on by ignoring me for several days and expect that’s working through a problem.

You say you’re not angry, so this isn’t a cooling down period. What more do you have to digest? That I can get justifiably upset, and you don’t like that? You don’t think that’s what couples sometimes do? For 10 months of a relationship, having this occur once like this is really not so life ending. Yet you think that that’s reason to just throw your hands up and shut the door in my face?

After behaving like you’ve been so passionately in love with me up until just days ago, I don’t know how you so can quickly shut off the light. It makes me feel like none of this was real. It was all just fantasy. You wanted to want to be in a relationship. You wanted be in love. You wanted to be loved. Yet when it came down it, if it got hard, you were ready to disengage. It was doomed to fail anyway, isn’t that how your mind works?

We were “supposed” to be moving in together in a couple of months, and now I’ll be alone on my Valentine’s Day. Not that the actual day means anything, but your silence speaks volumes. I guess our relationship doesn’t mean enough to you to fight for and work through when the going gets a little hairy. As much as it hurts me, as much as I thought we stood the chance better than anyone, I guess I was wrong. I know I deserve better than that.