A Picture of Illness in Action is Worth a Thousand Words
In the year and a half that the Warrior Poet and I have been together, I’m managed to keep this part of me hidden from my love. It wasn’t a conscious decision for me to hide it from him; it just turned out that way. He just happened to catch me in a mostly good spell. And while I had occasional flare ups outside of his company, I had never showed signs of my movement disorder in front of him. He never had to see me at my weakest.
I never had to ask him the question I’d wound up having to ask several men before him: Are you really ready to love in sickness and in health?
Read the rest of my article at Singles Warehouse to find out if WP is ready to step up to the plate:
Much of the discussion over the racy (or raunchy) VMA performance by former Disney star Miley Cyrus has focused on whether it was pointlessly over-the-top, whether it was morally irresponsible for a star with so many young fans, and even on whether her allegedly crude gestures and antics were offensive to black people. These are all interesting topics to debate, and I have elsewhere at length. But one thing that is also pressing on my mind is how to address the dubious sexual double standard for women today.
Blurred Lines On Young Women’s Behavior
There are more blurred lines for young women growing up today than what’s in Robin Thicke’s slick pop song, but some of his lyrics help shed light on the problem. Thicke croons that he’s going to take a good girl who <i>must</i> want to get nasty because of the wild way she behaves. The way she dresses is a green light for him to come in and “liberate” her from the type of lover who “tried to domesticate” her. Does this sound familiar to anyone else in today’s dating world? How many of us have just wanted a fun night out on the town, decked out in high heels and bare legs, simply looking to feel sexy while out dancing with friends, when we’ve run into the guy who wouldn’t believe us when we asserted, “not interested!”
Summertime is finally here, and with it comes the annual parade of graduations and weddings. The Warrior Poet and I went to his cousin’s graduation party last weekend, have another cousin’s wedding coming up in September, and one of my cousins living a couple states away is getting married in August. Yet I came up against a wedding etiquette conundrum the other day: When in a committed relationship, can you ask to bring your love to a wedding if the invite is only for you?
WP’s invitations to the wedding and Jack-and-Jill party included a “plus one.” My invitation, which was actually part of my parents’, did not. This absence instigated a humorous battle between my parents that has stretched over several days.
One of my younger female friends reminds me a lot of myself before I came into my sexual confidence. Despite having the slim and fit build and striking looks envied by many women and admired by many men, her insecurity about having smaller breasts not only feeds her jealousy of her loving boyfriend’s perceived attraction to other, curvier women, but also interferes with her ability to fully accept his open adoration (and wild lust) for her physical self. A conversation we had one day inspired these six steps to claim your sensual confidence.
To Love Thyself Is To Know Thyself
And vice versa is also true. And knowing and loving thyself makes it so much easier for others to know and love you too! There is nothing more sensual than a person who is exceptionally comfortable in their own skin, recognizes their own strengths and talents, who knows what they like, and goes after (attracts) what he or she wants from life and from you.
From the beginning, my boyfriend and I have been very open and honest with one other about our past relationships. He knows about many of the issues that led to the breakups with my biggest exes, and I know his perspective on what some of the biggest factors were that ended his last four-year relationship. He knew that I casually kept in touch with a couple of my exes, considering a couple actual friends, and I found out that occasionally he and his ex had text exchanges. It became apparent that she hadn’t moved on from him, though it’s now been almost two years since they officially broke up. Yet it never really concerned me because she’s never made a presence in my actual life…but that’s about to change. So now I’m left wondering how to deal with your partner’s ex who is still hanging on.
Sometimes the future sneaks up on you sooner than you predicted. You really have two choices when a serendipitous opportunity is right at your fingertips. You can hide your head in the sand like an ostrich, too overwhelmed with anxiety over the unknown to look it in the face —or in reality, sprint away from the situation with fear. Or you can raise your head, unfurl your wings, and trust where the wind will take you after removing the safety net of the well-trodden ground beneath you. When you reach a crossroad in a relationship, are you an ostrich or eagle?
Find out what the Warrior Poet and I are when a big opportunity comes across our path in a new post on Singles Warehouse.
This past weekend, the boyfriend and I celebrated our one-year anniversary. He whisked me away to a beautiful bed & breakfast in scenic New Hampshire, where we had a spacious room looking out onto the stars. While there was plenty of opportunities for excellent dining, breathtaking hikes and scintillating conversation, The Warrior Poet and I also took advantage of the extended weekend away from it all to indulge in some of our bedroom fantasies. But can you successfully carry out your sexual fantasies in real life?
The beginning of May is momentous in the story of the Warrior Poet and I. Last year, on April 28, we exchanged our first emails, full of promise and heady excitement. We had our first date on Sunday, May 6, just four days after my first round of chemo—risky move on my part, right? We sat for more than six hours deep in fascinating conversation about anything and everything, hating to part, and that trend continues to this day. That date and the vast majority of the last year are definitely worthy of great celebration.
Yet the timing has certainly brought up an important question: How do you celebrate an anniversary after a breakup?
Her eyes were filled with tears when we got into the car with them to go for our hike. She hid behind big sunglasses and the front passenger seat. The Warrior Poet and I had seen the two of them sitting in a different parking lot than the one we shortly met them at. We instinctively knew that they were having a fight. When we joined them in the car, the tension was blistering. It wasn’t the first time we’ve been in the midst of their conflict, and I daresay it would not be the last.
The Warrior Poet and I often wondered why they continued to weather the strain of such frequent friction. It was obvious they had intensely strong affection and attraction for one another, yet they seemed to be in constant strife. Just because we saw one vision for a happy relationship, did that mean that they weren’t equally satisfied with their one? Is there one formula for a successful relationship?
For three years, I have navigated the dating and relationship world without a license. I know, at the age of 35, it shocks me that I’ve been able to endure it for so long too! It has tested my independence (and patience), as I’ve had to rely on my dates or my parents to transport me, which means that someone else has largely dictated when, where and how long I will spend time in someone else’s company. So how will my life and my relationship change now that I am getting my license back?
Being more independent in your relationship makes you a better, more complete you!