Last night, I received an email from an interesting guy. He runs a non-profit Support Employment Program that assists individuals with psychiatric disabilities in obtaining and maintaining employment. Nice, I’m attracted to the altruistic. He also owns and operates and martial arts/fitness center. Great, he’s also ambitious and physically fit, while helping others to be healthy both inside and out as well. Considering my career path is working toward this goal as well, I truly appreciated seeing this in a potential suitor.
On top of all this, he “enjoys music, dancing, philosophy, intellectually stimulating conversation, and new experiences.” I don’t do much dancing right now, but I do adore my music, in all flavors. And I’m tired of doing all the listening to men who only enjoy listening to the sound of their own voices; that’s not a conversation, that’s a monologue. The bane of several past dating experiences as of late has been the lack of enough intellectually stimulation conversations–yes, I do miss that part of college.
However, then I really looked at his profile. This one sentence stood out at me and curdled the almond milk (which yes, I know doesn’t actually curdle) in my stomach a little bit:
I endeavor to approach life with a sense of spaciousness,
and non-attachment to subjective perceptions.
Everything else he said on his profile sounded reasonable, like something any normal person would say. But this one sentence sounded like it was lifted straight from a recent self-help book he’d read. I recognize a positive affirmation when I read one. In fact, it sounds exactly like a statement the airy, harp-accompanied voice that breathes to me from the guided imagery CD my parents lent me a few years back, Hypnotherapy for Inner Calm. I’m sure when he shares these affirmations with his clients, they appreciate hearing them, just as I tolerate them during my guided imagery listens. But it sounded a bit out of place for a plentyoffish profile.
Now that a little of the air had been let out of bright yellow balloon of hope for this guy, I pondered his profile further. Positives: Right age, great height, athletic, doesn’t drink. Downsides: Looks a bit like a thug, bald, massive, body-crushing muscles with tattoos, most of the photos are at an angle looking up his nose, with a bandana, cap slanted to the side, or wearing shades.
Still, the aim is to look outside of the choices that haven’t worked for me in the past, isn’t it? I’m not holding my breath for anything promising on this particular front, but I decided to email him back anyway. When someone takes the time to email you, I know how nerve-wracking it can be to wait to see if they’ll get back to you, even if it’s to say, Thanks, but no thanks.
A different guy, who I had absolutely no interest in at all, emailed me three times in the last 24 hours to prove this point before I finally emailed him back. Sometimes it pays to be nice.